Force Violates the Very Things Humans Need

Self-Determination Theory (SDT) helps us understand the deep psychological damage of slavery and gives parents and educators a guide for how to teach without dominating.

Self-Determination Theory (SDT) says that all humans need three things to grow in a healthy way:

• Autonomy – choice and control over one’s life

• Competence – the ability to learn skills and feel capable

• Relatedness – connection, belonging, and dignity

These needs are not cultural preferences. They are psychological requirements for human well-being.

Slavery was not just unjust because it was “unfair.” It was unjust because it systematically attacked all three of these needs at once.

1. Autonomy: Slavery Removed Choice Entirely

Autonomy is the need to say: This is my body. This is my time. This is my decision.

Slavery erased autonomy by design:

• People could not choose their work

• Could not refuse labor

• Could not rest freely

• Could not control their own bodies or futures

From an SDT lens, this is devastating — because humans do not thrive under force. This is why slavery is defined as forced labor, not simply “hard work.” Hard work with choice can be fulfilling. Hard work without choice becomes domination.

What this teaches parents and educators

When children are constantly controlled—without explanation, voice or agency —they may comply, but they do not grow. The child learns: My role is to comply, not to think.

Agency is the ability to practice making choices and experiencing the consequences. A child denied this ability may behave "well" but they are not learning how to decide, regulate, or self-direct.

Teaching means helping children learn how to choose —not removing choice altogether. Having a voice does not mean the child runs the household or classroom. It means the child can ask questions safely, disagree without fear, explain themselves and feel heard, even when the answer is still "no"

2. Competence: Slavery Exploited Skill Without Dignity

Humans are wired to:

• Learn

• Improve

• Take pride in doing something well

That wiring does not disappear under oppression. Enslaved people:

• Learned trades

• Mastered agriculture

• Built homes, tools, systems, foodways

• Developed trusted expertise

According to SDT, feeling capable feels good because it is part of being human.

Slavery exploited this:

• Skills were used but not honored

• Excellence was taken but not credited

• Pride was allowed only when it served power

This explains something children often find confusing: Why could enslaved people feel proud of their work but still hate slavery?

Competence can exist even when autonomy is stolen. Pride was not acceptance — it was human resilience.

What this teaches parents and educators

Children need to feel capable, not constantly corrected, shamed, or compared. When effort is punished, ignored, or weaponized, children learn that competence is dangerous instead of empowering.

Healthy education should say:

1. You are capable

2. Mistakes are a part of learning

3. Your growth belongs to you

3. Relatedness: Slavery Attacked Belonging and Humanity

Relatedness is the need to: Be seen as fully human, connected, and valued.

Slavery intentionally:

• Separated families

• Denied legal personhood

• Treated people as property instead of kin

This was psychological control, not accidental cruelty. From an SDT perspective, this matters deeply: When people are denied belonging, identity, and safety, harm multiplies.

That’s why enslaved people worked so hard to preserve:

• Family bonds

• Community

• Spiritual life

• Shared joy and storytelling

These were acts of survival.

What this teaches parents and educators

Children learn best when relationships are rooted in trust. When authority replaces connection, fear replaces curiosity. When children feel unseen or unsafe, learning shuts down.

Education is not just a transfer of information. It is a relationship.

SDT Helps Us Teach Children

Self-Determination Theory helps us make this essential distinction:

Slavery did not prove that work breaks the soul. Slavery proved that force, violence, and loss of dignity attempts to break the soul.

This matters because children are forming beliefs about:

• Effort

• Discipline

• Work

• Their own strength

Without this distinction, children may learn the wrong lesson:

• That hard work is harmful

• That skill is suspicious

• That effort equals exploitation

SDT helps us say instead:

• Work with choice supports the human spirit

• Work with dignity builds confidence

• Work and connection builds belonging

This Matters Today

Slavery shows us what happens when power is used to control human development. Self-Determination Theory shows us how humans actually grow.

For parents and educators, this is the invitation:

• Don’t confuse control with care

• Don’t confuse compliance with character

• Don’t confuse silence with respect

True education does not dominate. It cultivates.

When we teach slavery through this lens, we:

• Tell the truth without romanticizing suffering

• Honor the humanity of enslaved people

• Protect children from internalizing shame about work or effort

And we teach something hopeful and honest:

Humans were created to grow, build, tend, and create —but never to be owned.

A simple takeaway:

“Work wasn’t the problem. Being forced, hurt, and treated as less than human was.”